Survivor’s Corner

On the hot summer Saturday afternoon of July 27, 2002, a hard working man was mow-ing his lawn. He must have stepped into the street to turn his mower at 3:45, when he was struck by a minivan and thrown 40 feet. This man was surrounded by angels. They prayed for him, gave him first aid and oxygen, and called an ambulance. One special angel pushed redial on the home’s cordless phone and reached the man’s wife, who was on her way home from running errands about a mile away and was the last person he had called. The wife cried out to God as she drove, asking Him not to take her hus-band. She ran through the gathered group of neighbors on their street just in time to climb into the ambulance and ride to Vanderbilt with lights flashing and sirens blar-ing. As a former nurse, the wife knew her husband was not stable or the lights and sirens would not be used. She sat down to wait at the Emergency Room at 4:50.

Thus began a new chapter in the love story of Bernie and Dotti Goggins – a journey into the uncharted waters of traumatic brain injury. Bernie sustained several fractures, but they paled in comparison to the severe TBI’s. One doctor told Dotti that Bernie would probably never wake up, that she could put him in a nursing home or take him home and take care of him. “Don’t listen,” she told Bernie. “He doesn’t know what a hard worker and how determined you are.” Bernie was on a ventilator in a deep coma at the time, but Dotti continued to fight to keep him out of nursing homes and get him the care to pull him back to conscious-ness. Bernie spent over 100 days of 2002 in three hospitals, still comatose in August in the trauma unit when Dotti “celebrated” their eighth wedding anniversary – celebrating that her husband was still in this life with her.

Dotti learned early on what Bernie was later able to put into words – that miracles come in all sizes. When Bernie finally nodded yes, shook his head no, or deliberately used a gesture, it was cause for celebration. He was able to breathe in his own and went to rehab in September. There were tears in Dotti’s eyes as her husband stood next to her for the first time in two long months, albeit in a standing brace. The smiles and words came slowly but they did come, as did bits and pieces of memory. Bernie left rehab in November in a wheelchair, in part because of a severe hip fracture which would later need to be repaired again due to improper healing. Eventually Bernie walked with a walker, then a cane, and then on his own two feet, with Dotti beside him every step of the way.

An important component in any successful marriage is humor. Bernie and Dotti agree that a marriage in which traumatic brain injury plays a role needs generous helpings of humor. As Bernie made his way through recovery, he and Dotti found joy in hap-penings that would previously have gone unnoticed. A new itch, feeling a wet spot under his feet again, recognizing the ability to smell a flower – these are everyday occurrences for most people but became cause for rejoicing as signs of nerve regeneration and healing. Bernie even called Dotti one day so that they could celebrate together about his feeling “a bird leaving its calling card” on his arm.

When asked at a brain injury conference what difference the TBI might have made to their marriage, Bernie deferred the question to “my beautiful wife.” Dotti replied that perhaps they were a better team than pre-injury. Bernie had operated a successful com-puter consulting business before the accident but was deemed totally disabled due to the severity of his brain injuries. Dotti was compelled to take the lead in dealing with business, home, and legal matters. Her role as Bernie’s advocate is one she continues to cherish.

On August 22, 2004, Bernie and Dotti renewed their wedding vows on their tenth anniversary. Dotti wanted Bernie and anyone else who would listen to know that she took him as her husband again, just as he was. They repeated their vows this year on their 15th anniversary. Although their life is very different from July 26, 2002, Dotti says, “we still have each other and a good life to-gether. Bernie is there for me and I’m there for him.” In Bernie’s words, “we see each other as gifts that are beyond being de-served – priceless treasures. We were made for each other.”

Bernie and Dotti agree that faith is the most important part of their marriage. “We know we would never have made it without the support of our family, friends, neighbors, and prayer warriors across the country.”

And so their love story goes on.